Exhausting day and a few existential worries have made me slowly cry. Crying felt good, I clinged to the negative thoughts. Exhaustion. The only way out,,,, It rapidly increased to unmanageable levels of pain. I just want to sleep, I thought. I can’t do this anymore. I want this to end, I want to end myself. Thoughts became clearer, thoughts of saying goodbye to friends. Not existing would feel so good. I cried painfully. I realised the spiral. I asked for help and we called. I calmed down, her voice calmed me down, her faint auditive presence calmed me down. I was able to stop crying. I was able to calm myself down. I’m not in danger anymore.

I don’t want to imagine how this would have ended if there wouldn’t have been any help.

Thank you for being there for me, I love you.